The Impact of Unhealthy Therapy Relationships on Trust and Healing

Therapy is a space for healing and growth, but unfortunately, it can also be a source of harm. My experiences with two therapists highlight the importance of maintaining professional boundaries and the profound impact these boundaries have on trust and recovery.

A Reflection on Unhealthy Therapy Dynamics

Therapy is often a deeply personal journey, one that should be conducted with trust and mutual understanding. However, my experiences with two therapists taught me the hard way the importance of setting and respecting these boundaries.

The First Therapist

The first therapist I encountered was the most harmful. The relationship became unprofessional and abusive, culminating in physical and emotional transgressions that went beyond what I could tolerate. This therapist crossed professional boundaries by engaging in physical touch, which was both intimate and uncomfortable.

Despite being in a vulnerable state, I believed that she saw me as a mother figure and expressed affection and love. She often hugged me intensely, leading to profound feelings of confusion and vulnerability. The intensity of the physical contact was particularly concerning, as it challenged the boundaries I had established to protect myself from further emotional harm.

At one point, during a flashback, she held me in her arms on the couch. The physical closeness created a complex web of emotions, including arousal and discomfort. The boundary issues were not limited to physical touch; the therapist also invested a lot of personal time and affection, blurring the lines between professional and personal.

Second Therapist: An Encounter with Professionalism

While the first therapist's actions were harmful, the second provided clarity and support during a period of extreme vulnerability. This therapist was the one who brought me to my gynecologist's appointment and stayed with me during surgery. Her kindness and support were invaluable, helping me complete necessary medical procedures despite the trauma of the past experience.

Especially commendable was her presence during my gynecologist appointment. She saw the necessity of support that I couldn't face alone and bravely shared it. It was a solace during a time when I felt lost and alone.

Trusting Again

The journey to healing from these experiences has been fraught with challenges. Over time, I felt uncomfortable with the closeness and had to hold the therapist accountable for her actions. Her response was erratic, leading to a cycle of tension and reconnection. It was a manipulative pattern that further damaged my trust and emotional health.

The climax of this relationship came when I felt like I had no choice but to leave. The threat of hitting me, or leaving me to harm myself, was a stark reminder of the emotional damage I had endured. By the end, I realized that continuing the relationship was no longer an option. I needed to prioritize my own safety and healing.

Lessons Learned

These experiences have taught me the critical importance of defining and maintaining professional boundaries in therapy. Trust is the foundation of any therapeutic relationship, and while the healing process can be intimate, it must never become exploitative or harmful.

My story is a call to action for both clients and therapists. Clients should be aware of their rights and boundaries, and therapists should prioritize ethical practice to protect the well-being of their clients. Trust is fragile, and once broken, it can be difficult to restore.

Today, I am living with the pain and the broken trust, but it has also made me more resilient. I am determined to continue on the path of healing and to prioritize my emotional and mental health in everything I do.

Keywords: therapy boundaries, therapist abuse, therapist trust